First of all:
Fucking hell I’m tired. I do not have the energy I did when I was twenty.
Second:
We made it to the end without ever saying a cross word to each other. No divorce papers in sight. That’s impressive, believe me.
Third:
You really find out who will come through for you and who is an awful lot of talk (or silence). And you find out who your friends are. And the ones who don’t actually want to be your friends but are too polite to tell you to sod off.
There have been a few of those, and I now have received the message. Loud and clear. I shan’t bother you again, I promise.
Fourth:
Damn, did other people come through and show that they are fucking fantastic. Many of them are people we only know online as reviewers. Many of them are authors we’ve been lucky enough to get to know better. Many are people we’d love to be able to connect with in real life one day.
Fifth:
We are surrounded in our little orbit by some truly phenomenal people. We have close friends who supported us before we leapt off the cliff, and who have been there every step of the way since, both financially and emotionally. It’s no exaggeration when I say they’re a huge part of making this possible.
Sixth:
I still have some work to do on wanting to be liked and how sad and vulnerable it makes me feel when it’s clear people want nothing to do with me. Menopause is definitely helping with the “fuck it” feelings, but there’s still that little kid in me who always feels like an outsider, worried that I’ve managed to offend everyone. And I need to let go of the frustration and sadness when it comes to the ones I thought would come through but didn’t. People are messy and complicated, and letting go with grace would be a good thing.
Too bad I’m in a menopausal rage and I want to burn shit to the ground while still sobbing some days.
Seventh:
This is your last chance to grab some fantastic book rewards when backing the Kickstarter. I’d love to see some authors get some love for what they so kindly donated. And of course, we’re more than happy to have you back this insanely ambitious project we’ve taken on so that we can make a tiny bit of the world a better place.
*none of this was meant to guilt anyone, fyi. Just ponderings, as per usual*
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