Random Musings

I don’t know what to title this post yet. Let’s see what comes out…

Recently, we went to Thailand. It was a bucket list trip and it was phenomenal. Many, many tears were shed as the sheer beauty and magic of the place overwhelmed us. The colour, the scents, the people… magic.

And it left me deeply contemplative, though I haven’t had the chance to put it into words. One particular experience highlighted something important for me.

We went ziplining through a tropical forest.

Now, plenty of people zipline. I’ve done it before here in the UK. But this was different. This was more. Part of the reason for that was that I was on a Thai island surrounded by unimaginable beauty. But the other reason had to do with something deeply personal.

I’m nearing 50. It’s a milestone I never, in a million years, thought I’d make it to. I’ve come very close to not being here a multitude of times, both by my own hands and by being naturally clumsy and accident prone. The fact that I made it this far is pretty astounding, if you know any of my story.

And that came through, bright and clear, as I flew over that thick, green forest in the hottest heat and humidity I’ve ever experienced. I actually let out the joy in a scream as I barrelled, backwards, toward the next platform. The freedom wasn’t just in the act: it was in the act of doing something a tad bit scary, a tad bit new, and a whole lot exciting. Neither fear, nor age, nor the fact that I’m disabled stopped me, and the exhilaration of letting go of those things to simply enjoy the spectacular moment? That was something else. Something surreal that healed pieces of my soul.

We become more fearful as we get older, and with the development of a neurological disease, I’ve found myself even more so. This trip reminded me that fear doesn’t have to be my passenger. I’m the pilot in this life, and I choose to fly through the trees.

I guess I found my title.

Can I ask: what is it you’ve done to challenge yourself? What are you doing to battle against fear?